Dignity in Our Time

I went once to the funeral of a friend, a soldier. He had died an ordinary death, a car crash that left his parents in agony. I remember his father standing stock-still with an expressionless face. I thought for a moment that he was indifferent, but upon further consideration I realized he chose to be dignified, and his stolid figure meant that he would not share that moment of agony with the rest of the world. It was his final salute to his son, and the only solace he had the right to call on. Dignity is not the absence of feeling. It is the presence of feeling so profound that sharing it with the rest of the world would degrade it. It commends a person to privacy, to feel without indulging self-demonstration. It means that the most extreme moments of feeling, particularly of pain, should be experienced in the quiet of your own soul. Self-control is a gift we owe ourselves and a duty we have to each other. You can weep, but your tears are too precious to share. It strikes me that our time is singularly lacking in dignity. I will not bore you with examples of […]